Do we keep going on our starboard engine, and try to get services in Port Charles? Risky given the barge traffic if Starby gives up the ghost. Do we stitch all of my clothing into a giant sail and make our way under wind power? Wait — we’re in a reality show, not a cartoon. That’s not going to work. Here are some of the other issues we have encountered.

• Ice Maker — This was also working when we boarded in August. We suspect the water line may be clogged. Or, I might have done something when I was turning the taps underneath. We can obviously live without an ice maker.
• Lines around the propeller — When we were pulling up to the courtesy dock in Hammond, I managed to drop a line in the water. It got snagged on the propeller. No damage (thank goodness!) except to our wallets.
• I keep falling down the damn stairs — Today, I slipped on the steps to the aft cabin for the third time! The first time was a surprise. I was in sock feet and my feet went out from under me. I landed on my butt, which is ample, so did not hurt myself. I didn’t think anything of it until I slipped the second time a few weeks later. That one really pissed me off because I landed on my tailbone. I was yelping every time I sat for a week. Today, I was very careful. I had a firm hold on the rail and still I slipped! Landed on my butt again, so no injuries.

If we are in a reality show, I can’t really blame the last two items on the producers unless there are buttons in the control room that can move parts of the boat from a remote location.

“She’s dropped the rope. Quick, slide the swim platform an inch to the right so that the starboard line falls into the water. Divers, stand by to make sure it gets wrapped around the propeller. Go, go, go!”

Okay, she’s heading down the steps. Get ready to slide the top step in half an inch … now!”

Amusing, but unlikely. Still, if you’re watching, goodnight. And in case we don’t see you tomorrow, good morning,  good afternoon, good evening and goodnight!